the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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