just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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