Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
