Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
