ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am available for nakedness
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize