I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I smell stomach acid.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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