I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
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