so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
