I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
