There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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