YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
