Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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