I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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