im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
