just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The ass gains better be worth it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
