i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
