I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
