I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
