We're facebook friends in real life
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
