We won't sleep together?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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