he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
