im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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