fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm at about main and main street
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
