Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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