wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
