yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
