there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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