You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
