i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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