Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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