I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
