Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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