I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
