Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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