I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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