soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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