His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
