Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
bring money and cleavage
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
