I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
