Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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