pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize