Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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