are you so shy because you have an std?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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