You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
