Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
