Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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