Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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