That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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