Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
