The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
