i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize