VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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