I bet he comes in French.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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