Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
