I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
