we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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