I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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