which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
