I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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