What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
